Aftermath of the maelstrom: Renaissance
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Richard's LiveJournal:
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| Wednesday, September 16th, 2009 | | 5:38 pm |
A break before liftoff
Taking a few days to myself before the promotion and transfer to the legal department becomes official. Roaming the coast of New England. The trip has been perfect so far; I'm really amazed how beautiful it is. The days are warm with a gentle breeze, at night there is a crisp edge to the air betraying the approaching Fall. Tomorrow though I leave for Manhattan for a weekend visit with friends, old family. It will be hard getting back to Atlanta next week, but all my discipline and focus has finally come to fruition. A year directing all e-discovery will set me up for any position I want. | | Sunday, April 19th, 2009 | | 2:22 pm |
At 11,000 feet the air starts to get thin...
 Telescope Peak, August 31, 2008There is a lot I could write about how I got here; the previous hikes in Valley of Fire, the immense beauty of the trail, the heat, the dehydration, and what gave me the strength to complete the journey. Perhaps another day. | | Sunday, April 12th, 2009 | | 7:50 pm |
| | Friday, December 26th, 2008 | | 2:29 am |
Good Night Eartha Mae
I was saddened to hear of your transition. I pulled out your CD last month; and I was thinking about you this week whenever I heard your playful, naughty letter to Santa. There is an irony of the choice of Christmas day; yes, it is ironic, but there is also an elegant beauty, it seemed so fitting.
I once debated the superiority of your performance of Santa Baby compared to that of a far-lesser pop star. As I remember, the very unscientific poll we took here on LJ found in my favor. You managed to stay true to yourself in the face of so many challenges over a lifetime. You could have taken the more traveled path and found acceptance far easier; yet you chose to remain true to yourself and your values when others would have succumbed to the pressure. Few people these days have the same courage and strength to hold to their principles. It is a testament to your fire and spirit. I hope your next visit will be easier. Though with your spirit, elegance and grace, I have no doubt that it will be just as grand. You will be missed. Thanks for stopping by.
http://apnews.myway.com/article/20081225/D95A1BH00.html Current Music: Eartha Kitt - "I Want to Be Evil"; -- and of course "Santa Baby" | | Wednesday, November 5th, 2008 | | 9:01 am |
"Our long national nightmare is over" I will probably repost this on 1/20/09. But it's just as fitting now. . . Music: U2 --- Beautiful Day Louis Armstrong --- What a Wonderful World | | Saturday, August 23rd, 2008 | | 7:03 pm |
Putting together the last details, it is a challenge for which I do not know if I am fully prepared. but I have to try it. | | Thursday, August 7th, 2008 | | 4:40 pm |
Review coming up this week. Gathering together the accomplishments of the last year and there have been many. | | Thursday, February 28th, 2008 | | 9:07 am |
Yes, I got your messages. Did you get my reply?
I got your trash at my yahoo, gmail and work email. And then I got your comment on my LJ. My email accounts are one thing, they're private and I just click delete. This is public and your little stunt was online for five days. It was seen by at least one person. You could have put at risk everything someone else has worked to achieve. It wasn't yours to risk. I hope it wasn't just another throw-away account and your proxy will forward my reply. But I am so over it. Email all you like, but this forum at least is no longer open for you. | | Tuesday, February 19th, 2008 | | 7:28 am |
I lost my dinner last night and have no interest in eating this morning. I’ve dealt with this before, as recently as last week, but this is so much more. When I should’ve been working on my re-certification I was pacing the house turning my words over, my mind spinning with rage unable to respond clearly, but I will. This was so wrong, so unnecessary. | | Sunday, May 27th, 2007 | | 1:18 am |
Starry, starry night
It's a beautiful, perfect night here. Though the mosquitoes and all manner of nocturnal beasties may choose to have their way with me, I've decided I'll sleep outside on the deck | | Wednesday, June 21st, 2006 | | 4:49 am |
bizarre dreams of very unreal events that seem determined to escape description. I walked into a room, air thick and hazy with moisture and smoke. people in various states of dishevelment lounged around the room, some dressed, some not at all. they either did not notice my presence or simply did not care as their activities went on uninterrupted. acrid smoke rose in places. I had an immediate sense of what an early 1900's opium den, brothel or perhaps both might have been like. Unhindered, I passed through following the sound of music ahead. Entering a large room the flashing lights and the heat of the moving and dancing bodies hit me nearly as hard as the music. Loud rapidly pulsing, deeply thrumming, sensual music; constant though indistinguishable; the crowd of glistening, faceless people with perfect bodies writhed en masse. I stood for a moment feeling out of place till the writhing mob swelled and accepted me, pulling me into its center. strangers who wouldn't have given me a second look before now admired me; somehow now I'd finally convinced them that I was worthy, that I was better than my source stock; I'd convinced them even though I've yet to convince myself; but they will never know those deepest questions that haunt me still. these people did not really know me but did not care, that was unimportant, I looked like them now and I was new flesh pulled and accepted into the collective mass. I was accepted. but into what? my mind briefly fought the feeling that to keep their acceptance, I must become them in every way; but was that so wrong? isn't that what i've alwas wanted? it became suddenly cold and for just an instant i felt alone in that room, but just as quickly the aloneness, if not the chill, was drowned out by my new found acceptance. In that tangle of bodies my senses were overwhelmed and i felt intoxicated; my questions, doubts and inhibitions smothered. The lights, the smoke, the pounding primitive thrum of the music, the smell of sweat and exertion. though my mind was quelled my spirit tore at me; was this what I had been fighting for? were the years of my life sacrificed to achieve this? what I've been really, truly wanting to achieve? wasn't there something more or was this in fact who I've been all along? I awoke in a cold sweat just few minutes ago with the thrum of the music fading away and puzzling, lingering notes of frankincense and peppery myrrh | | Monday, May 22nd, 2006 | | 6:16 am |
Unsettling dream about a bearded man I have never seen before. On the surface he appeared as a mentor figure; compassionate, understanding, intuitive and kind. He portrayed himself as caring and unselfish, intending only the best for me. He offered what appeared on the surface to be wise, almost fatherly counsel to ease my concerns and reservations, though on what topic, I can't remember. What I do remember is the overwhelming feeling, a voice from a higher spirit or self telling me that his intentions were anything but pure. His agenda wasn't to help guide me on the path best for my journey, instead he was guided by his own motives or those of someone else; to distract me and misdirect me for his own unknown purpose and away from the path I was contemplating. I'm not sure what, if anything, it means. | | Friday, March 17th, 2006 | | 12:08 pm |
(or 39 anyway)
"At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky, manages to achieve somewhere in the later seventies." - PG Wodehouse | | Monday, February 13th, 2006 | | 12:48 am |
I'm reading it again myself. | | Sunday, January 29th, 2006 | | 11:41 pm |
Ruminations on the mindful pursuit of one's destiny and a life well-lived
The new title will likely be labeled as pretentious by some, but really, that's of no matter to me. This place is for my thoughts, my purpose and a faithful pursuit of the joyous life I know is possible. A person's life is one's own creation; for me, it's too short to waste years in the foolish pursuit or acceptance of something less passionate and beautiful. If anyone should read my words and feel a desire to put me into their view of "my proper place" with unkind thoughts or words, please spare yourself the effort. There is too much unkindness and cruelty in this world already; for my own part, I have no room for it. I know the person I am at my core and what I offer in this life; I will remain true to that person and one other. I know what beauty, love, honor, grace, gentle kindness and destiny are in this world and I faithfully embrace them all | | Wednesday, January 25th, 2006 | | 1:57 pm |
| | Sunday, January 15th, 2006 | | 8:17 am |
The pain of the cold air searing my lungs, while distracting, did not distract or calm my mind. Running was not the answer. In the moonlight I crossed the creek and found a high spot on the golf course where if I positioned myself just so, with the moon at my back and the lightening sky before me, the trees would still obscure the rooftops of nearby houses where I suspect blissfully-ignorant people still slept. For a few precious moments, I could forget where I was and imagine I was in a place far different and much farther away. As I sat there lost in my thoughts and the cold, the fox I've seen on previous mornings glided by 100 feet to my left. Either not noticing me or unbothered by my presence, she continued her usual morning patrol in her graceful, dancer-like gait. I watched as the rising sun painted the high, thin clouds with alternating hues of red, burnt orange, pinks, purple and yellow. The beauty of it was the kind of thing that only a few years ago I would have tried to capture and preserve on film; but this moment was just for me, just now. The memory of it would be enough. And for a few moments in this simple, quaint, but overwhelmingly exquisite beauty, my thoughts were quelled and my focus was returned to me. | | 6:53 am |
Though I went to bed exhausted only three hours earlier, I awoke at 5:15 this morning. My mind racing with too many simultaneous thoughts and unwilling to quiet enough for me to return to sleep. Even if it had, my body was fully awake and I was struck with the desire to run | | Monday, December 26th, 2005 | | 12:54 am |
| | Wednesday, December 21st, 2005 | | 7:56 am |
One thing I will miss
when I sell this house and leave it in the Spring is mornings on the deck; sitting at the table as the sun begins to rise. Before it has yet to break the horizon there is a soft light with hints of orange and gold light. Just enough light that I can see the hills of golf course through the trees. Sitting there with steam rising off the cup of coffee I am not supposed to be drinking this partcular morning, I watch as I have on several mornings now, as a single fox fearlessly crosses the open expanse of the course; not skirting the treeline where she is more safely camouflaged, she walks through the middle of it all, in command. Patrolling her territory I suppose before the various maintenance workers and the better, more affluent people arrive. She is purposeful yet refined, elegant and graceful in her movement, she flows across the grass and into the leaves. Almost businesslike as she makes the rounds of her universe. |
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